— Mary Vallis, National Post



5:00: Party supporters and
protesters begin to gather in front of the CBC.

The autism folks are armed
with full-sized likenesses of Dalton McGuinty –

complete with wooden dowling
stuck through a nose hole to make him look like

Pinocchio.

5:15: The Greens show up (late to the party, as usual). They set up
with

canvas windmills, two masks of Monty Burns (the evil nuclear power
plant

owner on the Simpsons, clever) and a John Tory marionette. They set up
camp…

halfway down the block. Figures.

5:37: Mr. Tory’s Greyhound pulls up amidst chants of “Tory, Tory.” A
bike

cop shoves a Canadian Press photographer out of the way as the leader
and

his wife, Barbara Hackett, move toward the building’s front door; they
are

holding hands. Interestingly, her fingers are not yet purple.

5:57: Howard Hampton arrives. Supporters in garish orange jerseys
chant

“Howard!” “Howard!” while Conservative supporters chime in, and with
rhythm,

“Sucks!” “Sucks!” Meanwhile, word reaches the crowd that Mr.
McGuinty

slipped through another entrance altogether.

6:02: Photo-op. “Mr. Hampton’s on the left, McGuinty’s in the middle
and Mr.

Tory’s on the right,” someone announces before the leaders arrive at
their

respective problems. “That’s convenient,” someone else mumbles.

6:32: TV shows a taped segment of Mr. McGuinty lamenting the fact he
raised

taxes despite his promise. The other two leaders’ tapes focus on
the

premier’s “broken promise” on autism. Contrite on the wrong issue,
Mr.

McGuinty. Bring on the attacks!

6:46: “I think you better the get repair man in to look at your
tractor!”

Mr. Tory tells Mr. McGuinty as they debate schools. Tractors.
That’s funny.

7:01: Mr. McGuinty might have one of those annoying itches in the arch
of

his foot. He can’t stand still.

7:03: “I’ve asked Ontarians to judge me on my record,” Mr. McGuinty
says.

The press gaggle, watching the debate on TV a few rooms over, laugh
out

loud. Steve Paikin then transitions into a tape from a voter on
broken

promises. The chuckles in the press room are even louder.

7:06: Mr. McGuinty finishes a little tale about how he admires his
father,

who raised 10 children. Mr. Tory one-ups with a story about his
grandfather.

7:09: The premier mistakenly refers to Mr. Tory as Mr. Conservative.
Potato,

po-tah-to.

7:19: McGuinty defends the health tax with hand gestures so forceful
he

looks like he’s the Karate Kid. Except the Karate Kid was more
successful.

7:27: “Once again, Mr. Tory is being very, very negative,” Mr.
McGuinty says

as the leaders debate crime. You think? It’s a debate. A
debate!

7:40: Mr. McGuinty complains about Ontario’s geography.

7:40: “You’re making this up,” Mr. McGuinty tells Mr. Tory of
his

allegations on nuclear energy. What a victim. It’s a hard out here for
a

premier.

7:44: Sixteen minutes to go and still no knockout punch. Mr.
McGuinty’s got

to work on those karate chops.

7:50: Mr. Hampton is answering the last question and has somehow
managed to

keep his composure all night. He comes across less leftie wingnut,
more just

boring dude.

8:04: Four minutes after the debate ends, NDP spin doctors declare
Mr.

Hampton the winner. Maybe they were watching Family Ties reruns all
night.

8:19: Mr. Hampton tells reporters he does not think Mr. Tory is a
“scary

guy.” “He’s not an ugly guy, either.”